Hidden Fears
by LunaRains
Summary: Sequel to Daddy's Hands. It's been over a year since John and Sam have been reunited with Dean, and everything was going good. Until it wasn't.
1. Chapter 1

An: it's me again... I have the worst cold or allergies I've ever had. It's bad when your husband looks at you like an alien due to the amount of mucus you produce.

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural in anyway or they all would be sick and everyone would hate me.

Hidden Fears

Chapter 1 Night Terrors

Dean raised from his sleep, from his newest nightmare. It had been over a year since he had shot and killed, his father. And still every night Christopher Campbell was there, telling him what a waste of space he is, and how he is responsible for the death of the only mother, that he had ever known.

"Dean, are you alright?" John asked from the other side of the doors, after hearing his oldest scream out.

"I'm fine, sir." Dean answered once he trusted his voice, not to give away how messed up he felt.

"You know where to find me, if you need me." John replied not believing that I'm fine line for one second.

No, he could tell that there was something going on with Dean. Usually Dean would at least call him dad, but now he had insisted on reverting back to calling him, "sir."

Dean closed his eyes tightly, and willed not only his hands to stop shaking but also the nightmares away. But the moment that he closed his eyes, all he would see was the face of his "father."

"You're gonna get John and Sammy killed, just like you got Mary killed." Chris' vemenous words repeated over and over in his ears.

"You're not real." Dean answered, shaking his head, as his breathing sped up once more.

"Oh, that doesn't matter, you see I may not be real to John or your precious little Sammy, but I'm all too real to you. Isn't that right, Dean? In fact that makes it better, because I finally got where I wanted to be, Dean. I finally got inside your head." Chris' voice said as Dean's brain filled with devilish laughter.

"Get away from me!" Dean yelled as his nightmare once again stared him in his eyes.

"Never...why would I? I mean this is going to make my eternity of death, so much fun." Chris said continuing his laughter.

"I Said Get Away!" Dean yelled once again.

"If that's the way that you really want it... I guess that I could always use Daddy or Sammy for my entertainment." Chris cackeled.

"No, please just leave them out of this...I changed my mind." Dean begged as he was awakened by a knock at the door.

"Dean, son are you okay?" John asked as he inched closer to his oldest son.

"Don't just sit there dumbass, asnwer your "Daddy." Chris' voice yelled.

"Y-yes s-sir, I'm fine." Dean answered as he flinched away from the sound of Chris' voice.

If that's what fine looks like, I'd hate to see what bad looks like. You know Dean you can talk to me, if you need to. I won't think any less of you, you know that right, son? John suggested as he reached to pat Dean on the back and was shocked, when Dean put his hands up like he had expected to be hit.

"Like I said sir, I'm fine. Please just go back to bed." Dean begged with panic in his voice.

"Dean, listen I'm not leaving until I'm sure that you're okay." John answered worriedly.

"Please sir, it was just a nightmare." Dean answered with more confidence.

An: I would just like to thank you for reading and I hope you find it in your heart to review. And I take full responsibility for all errors.

Thank you,

Luna


	2. Chapter 2 Voices Calling

An: sorry that it is taking so long...I've been sick. But I have missed you all so much.

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Chapter 2 Voices Calling

"How are you doing today? I know that you had a rough night, last night." John questioned with deep concern.

"I'm sorry that I woke you, sir." Dean mumbled his apology.

"You know, everyone has nightmares every now and then, son. Sometimes it helps to just get them off of your chest." John said as he put his hand on Dean shoulder, and was shocked his son flinched and done his best to cover it up.

"Dad's right, Dean. Sometimes when you have they go away if you talk about them." Sam said as he entered the kitchen.

"Sorry guys... I really am, but I'm just not in the sharing and caring mood right now. So, maybe some other time." Dean answered as soon as he felt that his walls were fully fuctioning again.

"Is he going to okay, dad?" Sam asked as soon as Dean left the room.

"Yeah...like he said, it was just a nightmare." John answered reassuringly as he ruffled Sam's hair.

Sam however wasn't compeletly convinced, because he had witnessed the way that his brother had flinched away, as soon as their father had touched him.

"Hello again, Dean. Come to daddy." The voice said wildly inside Dean's head, as he attempted to watch television.

"Now that's funny." Dean said sarcastically with his eyes still pointed toward the television, as he listened to Chris' voice call himself daddy.

"What's funny?" Sam asked as he sat down beside his brother.

"This show." Dean said instantly, even though he had no idea what it was that he was supposed to be watching.

"Dean this show is about a woman dying of cancer." Sam said in concern with a raised eyebrow toward his brother.

"Yeah? Dean asked as he swallowed hard. I- I meant to say that it's sad." Dean stuttered nervously.

"They're on to you now, boy. It won't be long before they know what a mistake they made, by taking you in." Chris' voice hissed, his words hitting home, and causing Dean to let go of the slightest whimper.

"Dean? Are you okay?" Sam asked when he heard the noise come out of his brother's lips he instantly reached to comfort his brother

.

As Sam touched him, his body just took over, and Dean found himself running and locking himself in his room.

"Dean is everything alright?" Dean heard John asked for the millionth time that day.

"Y- yeah I j-just remembered that I h-have some homework t- to do, sir." Dean answered trying to control his voice.

John could tell something was definitley going on with Dean, but didn't know what to do to help him, so he left him alone, hoping that his son would tell him the truth, sooner or later.

"Yep, it definitely won't be long now...but they might keep you...to lure the monsters, but don't screw up because I have seen John mad...and it ain't pretty." Chris continued with an evil laugh.

"You're wrong! John isn't like you...he wouldn't hurt me." Dean said confidently.

"You're right. The voice admitted. He's worse...you think that I hurt you. You just wait until John gets a hold of you, and I bet little Sammy will even join in. You see, Dean eventually you will learn, that taking a beating is the only thing that you are good at." Chris added.

TBC

An: hopefully I will be able to update sooner. Remember that every time you review an angel gets his grace back:)


	3. Chapter 3 communicate

An: hello there again...hope you missed me as much as I missed you all.

Disclaimer: they aren't mine, but I am still psyched about season 10.

Chapter 3 Communicate.

"We've got to help him, Dad!" Sam said in a whiney tone.

"Help him with what?" John asked denying that he had noticed anything different.

"I know that you've heard him, too...and seen the fact that he's been jumpy, even around us lately." Sam answered with a frustrated sigh.

"Sam they're just nightmares...and Dean a big boy, he doesn't need us to hold his hand." John said knowing that it was much more than nightmares plauging his oldest son.

"It's been going on for months now, and you know that it's more than that! Dad, he talks to people that aren't there. He won't even let us close enough to touch him!" Sam shouted, all that he really wanted was his brother back.

"We just need to keep trying, Sam. He's been through a lot, and I'm sure that stuff still haunts him sometimes." John softly explained to his youngest.

Dad was right, and if Dean refused to get close enough for them to communicate with them in any way then, he would just have to find a way to make it happen. Sam felt really bad for what he had planned, for that night but he knew that it was his only way in. Sam lay awake until 2 a.m., before he yelled out like someone who had a terrible nightmare would and then waited.

"Sammy? Are you okay?" Dean asked through the door, sounding as if he had just ran a marathon.

"I'm fine...it was just a bad dream." Sam mumbled as he waited for Dean to ask him to talk about it. But it was a good thing that he wasn't holding his breath as he waited, because it never came.

Sam waited a couple of hours and ran toward his brother's bedroom.

"Dean, please let me in?" I begged while banging on the door.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked sounding as scared as Sam was pretending to be.

"I had an awful dream." Sam said as he ran into Dean's arm.

It may have been overkill but Sam had to help his brother, and to do that he had to find out what was going on with him first.

"Sammy, I- I think that m- maybe you shoulda went to your dad for help." Dean answered swollowing hard.

"But I don't want dad... I want my brother!" Sam said as he hugged Dean tight.

"But I'm not your brother, I'm not anything. I shouldn't even be here." Dean answered as he looked frantically around the room.

"Don't say that, Dean! What are you looking for, anyway?" Sam asked as his eyes followed Dean's line of sight.

"N-nothing, you're right... I guess that I'm just having a pity party." Dean answered with a faked smile.

"Do you know why you're having a pity party, Dean? It's because you know exactly how pathetic and useless you are." Chris' voice rang in his ears.

"Shut up!" Dean whispered in command.

"Sammy's starting to see you for who you really are, a crazy self centered brat, who love no one." The voice said with an evil laugh.

"You're lying! I love Sammy and John!" Dean yelled as he covered his ears and began to rock back and forth.

"Maybe I am lying, about some things...but you can't tell me that I'm lying about you being crazy, and how much of that do you think that John is actually going to put up with? Oh and the best part is that you will never be able to see Sammy again." Chris said as he continued to assault his son's mind.

An: had a really terrible day:( so please review and pray that my family will get through this ordeal intact. Thank you all.


	4. Chapter 4 There's Nobody There

An: I would just like to thank you all, for your thoughts and prayers. My little girls are both doing better, although I know it's going to be a long road to hoe, it seems to be getting a little better. All we can do is take things one day at a time and keep faith in what we believe.

Disclaimer: I don't own them...might be dangerous if I did.

Chapter 4 There Is Nobody There.

It had been a month since he had managed to freak Sam and John out. Since then he had practiced schooling his features and not jumping through the roof, every time someone touched him. He had also learned his limits when it came to the voice that constantly running through his mind, and instead of staying in the house where he would undoubtably be heard, he would track as far as he could out into woods. He would have slept out there too, but he knew John and Sam would have noticed this and he quickly decided against it.

"You know what would be the best thing to do right now? The voice of his dead, biological father rang in his ears.

"No, just... Go Away!" Was Dean's only reply, as he sat on a rock over looking the small body of water.

"You know son, there isn't enough water in that pond, to wash all the blood you've shed, off of your hands." Chris' voice spoke in an overly sweet tone, that Dean had always used as a waring.

Dean gasped as he realized that his hands had became sticky with fast drying blood.

"Do you know whose blood that is, Dean?" The voice taunted.

"SHUT UP!" Dean growled, as he put his hands to his head desperately trying to get the voice to stop.

"Dean?" He thought he heard John's voice trying to get his attention, but when he opened his eyes all he could see, was the faces of all of those that he couldn't save, and in the forefront was his mother (Mary).

"I should have never taken a piece fo trash like you, into my house. You brought that demon in with you, because you are the demon Dean." Mary's voice scolded, like hot coals on already burned feet.

"Dean, son?" There it was again, the pleading voice of reason that sounded like the man he had wished was his biological father.

"Everyone around you dies, Dean, and now you are going to get my _**Real**_ family killed. Because that's what demons do." Mary's said with a sad knowing smile.

"I'm not a demon." Dean whispered to himself, as he began to rock back and forwards as Mary's words sunk in.

"Look. At. Me. Son!" John said frantically, as he began to shake his son in effort to drag Dean's attention away from whatever he had been seeing and hearing.

Dean hadn't been as sneaky as he thought, when he began going into the woods John thought that maybe it would be a good thing, because plenty of people would turn to nature, as a way to calm them. But he then noticed that Dean was using it as a way to withdrawl himsel f away from his family. So this time John had decided to follow his son. That's why he was here now, trying to draw his son's attention away from whatever Hell he was in, right now.

"I'm not a demon...please don't say that momma." These words over and over is what John heard his son say, and it shattered his heart into a million pieces.

"Dean, son, come on. What you are seeing or hearing right now isn't real." John said as he put his hands to each side of his son's face, to force him to look him in the eye.

John was at his whits end when that didn't work, so he did the only thing that he could think of. He picked Dean up and carried him back to their house.

TBC

an: I would like to thank you NC for your reviews and helpful words...you have no idea how much they have meant to me. Please Review. And God bless you all.


	5. Chapter 5 The Breaking Point

An: hello everyone... I hope that you are still enjoying this story. I know I am really enjoying writing it. Gosh, October 7th feels like an eternity away.

Disclaimer: supernatural is owned by Eric Krypke, not by me.

Chapter 5 The Breaking Point

"What happened to him?" Sam asked his father as he came into the house packing Dean.

"I don't know." John answered quietly as he placed deab on the couch. "Dean, I need you to keep an eye on Sammy, while I check out a few things." John said as a last resort, to snap his oldest son out of his semi-catatonic state.

Unfortunately, this didn't have the desired effect that John was hoping for. John's heart broke even further, when he realized that Dean's lips were still forming the words that he had been speaking when he found him in the woods.

"Come on, Dean...I need my big brother to protect me." Sam said scared to death and almost crying listening to his brother's pleading words.

"Did you hear him, Dean, Sammy needs you?" John asked as he watched Sam lay his head in his big brother's lap.

His sons' bond had always impressed him, from the time that they had found Dean laying in that hospital bed in Lawrence, beaten within an inch of his life. But nothing prepared him for what happened next.

"Shh, Sammy, 's alright. I'm here." Dean whispered as he ran his fingers through his little brother's hair, even though he was still looking at the same spot, and the tears were still rolling down his face.

"You scared me to death, son. I thought I had lost ya." John said as he looked into Dean's haunted eyes that had finally cleared from their daze.

"Are you kidding... I'm like a bad cold, there's no getting rid of me." Dean tried to make a joke, but his family could tell that his heart just wasn't in it.

"No more joking son, no more pretending that you're alright. When it's obvious that you're not, we are your family, Dean, and we are here to help you. But we can't help you if we don't know what's wrong." John told him with the burning of tears threatining to spill over.

"I'm fine, there is nothing wrong with me." Dean lied with a shame filled voice.

"Okay, then who were you telling that you weren't a demon?" John asked hoping to prove his point.

"No one...there was no one there." Dean shouted.

"Then why would you say something like that?" John asked worriedly.

"Because I'm not a demon." Dean whispered as his eyes began to daze once again.

"Where are you even getting the idea that you're a demon from?" John asked before it finally occurred to him." Is Chris haunting you?" John asked bluntly.

"I don't know...I mean I don't think so, because I salted and burned him myself, remember." Dean answered smoothly, and if it hadn't been for the way his hands were shaking, John may have been convinced.

"Sammy, go and get an EMF reader out fo the trunk, so we'll know for sure." John ordered already knowing that if it was Chris' ghost messing with Dean, then he would burn everything the man had ever touched if he had too, with the exception of Dean of course.

Please read and review...when bells ring an angel gets it's wings just imagine what happens when you review a story...lol


	6. Chapter 6 Don't Call Me That

An: I am so happy to reviews from all of you and thank you all so so much.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything...well some things I do, but supernatuaral is not one of them.

Chapter 6 Don't Call Me That

"Here you go Dad. "Sam said as he returned with the EMF reader. "Dean, please tell us, what's going on?" Sam asked sadly as he looked into Dean's eyes.

"His voice...it's in my head." Dean said brokenly as he swollowed hard around the permenant lump in his throat.

"Just couldn't handle this by yourself, could ya, Dean?" Chris sneared from inside his head.

"EMF readings are clean." John spoke and noticed that Dean's eyes were shut so tightly that it looked like it would hurt. "You okay there? "John asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I can handle it." Dean whispered shakily.

"Handle what?" John asked his son with more concern.

"Nothing...it's nothing." Dean answered a bit to quickly for John's liking.

"Don't shut us out, Dean. We are a family and family helps each other." Sam said in effort to comfort his ailing brother.

"I-I'm sorry, but I can't d-do this." Dean sobbed with his head in his hands.

"Do ya wanna know why you can't do this, Dean?" Chris' voice asked.

"It's because you're weak and pethetic, and you're going to take John and Sam down with you." Mary's voice chimed in.

Dean knew in his heart that his mother would never say such things to him, but in his head, it was a totally different ballgame. Especially after hearing it over and over.

"I'm sorry, momma...I'll do better...I promise." Dean apologized as he wrapped his arms around his legs, in an attempt to make himself smaller.

"Dean, are you hearing things?" John questioned his eyes growing teary from worry, even more now that Dean seemed to be talking to Mary.

"You can't any get better...because demons never do, they only get worse, Dean." Mary tsked.

"Are you talking to someone, besides Sammy and me right now, son?" Dean heard his father ask, but when he opened his eyes the only people in the room were Mary and Chris.

"Pl-please don't hurt me...I sw-swear I'm not a demon...and I would never hurt Sam or John. Please, I promise." Dean begged looking in John's direction.

John knew that Dean was looking in his direction, but he was also positive that it wasn't he, or Sammy that Dean was talking to.

"Of course I'm not going to hurt you, Dean. Just please tell us, what's going on?" John asked as he reached to confort his son, which led to Dean huddling in on himself." Easy son, it's just me." John said in a soft tone. "Tell me, who's talking to you right now?" John asked.

"Chris and m..." Dean began only to cut off.

"Don't you dare, call me mom. You are not my son...I could never love a monster like you. You're nothing but a worthless demon." Mary said as she stepped closer to Dean.

"Mary." Dean corrected himself with a hurt filled gasp.

"They're not real...you do know that, right?" John asked beyond worried.

"I-I know, but I don't think that they got the memo." Dean answered with something in between a sob and a laugh.

John heard Dean say that he knew that the voices and people talking to him, weren't real, but he didn't know whether it was the truth, or if Dean was saying that to apease him.

"Dean, both Mary and Chris, are dead. Both have been burned so that they can't haunt anything or anyone, so that means..." John began but couldn't bring himself to finish the statement.

"That I'm crazy, right?" Dean asked swollowing hard.

"You said that your mom..." John started but was interrupted by Dean shaking his head.

"She says not to call her that... that I'm not her son. She says that I killed her." Dean's breath hitched as he tried to explain.

"Son, we've been through this, you had nothing to do with her death...it was a demon that killed your mother." John said shaking his head in disbelief of how his son could still blame himself, for the loss of Mary.

"The funny part is that mo... I mean Mary says that I'm a demon." Dean said refusing to look his dad in the eye any longer.

TBC

Please feel free to review. And by the way I'd just love it when me and my readers are on the same page. No pun intended, but I guess it is kinda funny. See ya soon, Luna.


	7. Chapter 7 Help Me

An: I hope that you all find this enjoyable. Don't forget to leave me your thoughts. Just to let you know this chapter will have some blood in it.

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural.

Chapter 7 Help Me

Dean, your mom...Mary, would have never called you a demon! John tried to reassure his oldest.

"She would if it's the truth." Came Dean's response. "What if I am a demon? What if I killed Mary?" Dean asked with tears running down his cheeks.

"Dean,you have never killed _**any one**_." John said quietly.

"But I have...I-I have, I-I killed my own father, and other people too." Dean answered in a panicky tone.

"Son, you only killed Chris because you had to, there was no other choise at the time." John said trying to keep his voice calm.

"No...I did it 'cause I wanted to, I wanted to kill the bastard...and I would do it again if I had the chance. They're right I'm nothing but a monster." Dean said shakily as he ran into the kitchen.

John and Sam both followed Dean closely, afraid of what he might do. John was shocked when he saw him standing at the sink, looking at the knives with something akin to longing in his eyes. He and Sam both were poised and ready to jump in to do whatever had to be done, to keep Dean from harming himself. Sam sighed also seen the tempted look on his brother's face, and sighed in relief as Dean turned on the faucet.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, hoping that by reminding Dean that he was right there, watching, that it would keep him from doing anything rash.

"I gotta get it off." Dean answered in a panicky tone as he continued to scrub his hands, under the scalding water.

"Get what off?" John asked in concern as he looked at his son's already pink hands.

"The blood...there's so much blood!" Dean answered as he scrubbed harder.

Then he picked up the steel whool brush, that they used to clean their grill with, and began to scrub it over his skin. While John and Sam stood in shock of what they were seeing.

"It won't come off." Dean said to himself as he went for the bleach that was sitting within arms reach.

"That's enough." John scolded as he lunged for the bleach as well, before any further damage could be done.

"Please...I've gotta get the blood off." He begged, John as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Dean look at your hands, the only blood there is your own." John spoke as he took his son's shaking and bleeding, hands in his own and wrapped a towel around them.

"Please... help me." Dean sobbed into his dad's shoulder.

Dean's voice sounded so lost that John silently wondered if he had waited to long. Or if Dean could still be saved.

"I'll do whatever I have to do, son. We've got you now, and we're going to help you." John said as he made Dean look into his own teary eyes.

Sam may have only been a teenager, but he had seen a lot of things but his brother's meltdown was truly the scariest thing that he had ever wittnessed. He and his father now had one common goal...saving Dean. Unfortunately it wasn't from the monster of the week, because that would be easy, but saving Dean from himself would be the hardest thing that they'd ever face.

"Let's get him upstairs." John said once Dean had cried himself to sleep.

It wasn't that John needed Sam's help packing his brother as much, as he wanted them all to be together in this. Knowing that this was their only shot of showing Dean, what being a family really meant. They lay Dean on his bed and were turning to leave, when Sam felt his brother's hand come up and wrap around his.

"Please, don't leave me?" Dean begged with a shaky voice, and swollen eyes.

"I won't leave you." Sam said as he climbed into his brother's bed, and wrapped his arms around him. Hoping that it was as comforting to Dean as it always had been to Sam, after a really bad nightmare.

TBC

Thanks for all of your reviews, if you have anything you would like me to add in this, leave it in a review or pm me. Thanks and have a great rest of your day.


	8. Chapter 8 Promises Made

An: well I would like to say thank you for all of the reviews, and I'm very sorry that it has taken me so long to update this story. I hate writer's block. I had an exciting fall break with the kiddos though we went to New York and D.C. And I didn't get made fun of for my accent once. Coulda been cause I didn't talk to anyone though.

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Supernatural, I just do this for the fun of it.

Chapter 8 Promises Made

"What are we going to do?" Sam asked his father once Dean was asleep.

"I don't know Sammy, maybe we should just listen to what your brother is saying." John said as he rubbed his face in frustration.

"We both know that Dean isn't a demon, Dad." Sam spoke defiantly standing toe-to-toe with his father.

"That's my point, Sammy. Maybe it doesn't matter what we think or even know anymore. Maybe it only matters what your brother thinks is going on." John answered taking a drink of coffee that he was sure that he was going to need.

"So, you think the best thing to do is, to do an exorcism on him?" Sam asked angrily.

"Your Dad is right, Sammy. It's only logical." Dean informed Sam as he snuck soundlessly from behind John and Sam.

"No, that's not logic, Dean...when Dad and I both already know that you're not possessed." Sam said trying to show his brother the truth.

"I need you to do this, I want you to exorcise me. I can't take a chance, on the demon coming out and hurting the two of you. So, I want you to promise me, that you will do that for me...no matter what." Dean begged John and sam.

"We can't make that promise, because what if something happens to you while we are doing the exorcism. We can't promise to keep going... so don't ask us to." John said shaking his head.

"No, please, you have to...a demon is something that I would rather die than become." Dean told John in a worried tone.

"Listen, Sam's righ, and the only reason either of us is agreeing to this, is to prove to you, That. You. Are not. A demon." John answered as he began to draw a devil's trap around his oldest son.

After double checking his father's devil's trap, Sam took a chair and placed it in the middle, for his brother to sit in.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" John asked one last time.

"I have to be exorcised, before I hurt someone." Dean nodded as he took his seat in middle of the trap.

"Before we start, I am going to show you that, you are not a demon." John said with a raised brow as he threw some holy water onto Dean.

Dean's eyes widened in fear of the holy water burning his skin, because his family would finally see the truth about him.

"See I told you, that you weren't a demon. So, let's just stop this before it goes any further." John said as he saw that Dean was having absolutely no reaction to the holy water.

"Dean, you know the truth...you know that a demon like you, would have no reaction to holy water." Chris sneared at Dean, when no reaction occurred.

"No...you have to do an exorcism on me. You promised." Dean begged as he tried to blink chris' words away.

"Dean, I don't know what they are saying to you, but listen to me. If you were a demon you would be smoking right now, big brother." Sam said trying to reason to with his brother.

"Okay, but I have one more thing, to try and convince you that you don't need an exorcism, first." John said hating what is was getting ready to do, as he emptied the salt into his palm.

"Do it!" Dean answered when his eyes locked on to the salt, as he was assaulted with its brineyness on his lips.

"See I told you, no reaction means, no demon." John spoke with a smile.

"You don't understand, sir. The holy water and the salt won't work, on them. The only way to protect you and Sam is to do an exorcism. I know you think that because I didn't smoke or anything, that you're safe, but Chris says..." Dean started.

"That's enough! Chris is gone, Dean. He's not here!" John snapped.

"Just do the damn exorcism, John!" Dean snapped back with a growl.

"Fine...if you insist." John said as he walked toward his journal. "But first...who are you?" John asked as he opened his journal to the right page and handed it to Sam.

"What do you mean? My name is Dean." The boy answered quietly.

"No, you're not. I know my son and you aren't him." John informed lightly, as he watched Dean's face change from a look of fright to an amused grin. And then caught sight of Sam's shocked expression.

"You think you know him, huh? But you see, I beg to differ with that...because how can you know him, when he doesn't even know himself, John? Dean's voice hissed. I did a hell of a job with this boy...don't ya think, Johnny." Dean winked and then began to pace the devil's trap.

"Read it, Sam!" John said with a nod, thinking for the first time that Dean was telling the truth, and there was a demon inside of him. One who liked to play around inside of his son's head, but was shocked that at the end of the exorcism there was no demon that came smoking out.

"You see John because in the end, the boy won't remember any of the exorcism...and to him that means demon, but no...it's just me controlling his every action." Dean's voice said, as he gave control back to the real Dean.

The only thing that John or Sam could do, was stand there in shock of what had just happened.

"Did it work, is the demon gone?" Dean asked hopefully.

"No...there was no demon in you, son." John answered as he hugged his oldest son.

TBC

An: sorry for any bad mistakes, this story isn't beta'd. Hope you enjoyed and please take the time to review. Love to all,

Luna


	9. Chapter 9 What Now?

An: hello to everyone, I hope you are all having a wonderful day.

Disclaimer: don't own supernatural.

Chapter 9 What Now?

"Yes there is and if the exorcism didn't work it just means that Chris was right! That the demon inside me is to strong for it to work." Dean yelled louder than either John or Sam knew was humanly possible.

"Chris is the problem here. Not a demon." John admitted trying to get Dean to admit it himself.

"So, what do we do now?" Dean asked brokenly, looking into the empty space between Sam and John, as if he was ready to pounce at any moment.

"You know what has done, Dean." Chris voiced in an almost caring tone.

"God...Just shut the hell up!" Dean yelled once again, as he threw a chair at the space in between Sam and John.

"He's not here...he's not real, Dean." John spoke trying to reassure his son.

"The hell I'm not." Chris retorted loudly, causing Dean to flinch.

"Son, you listen to me. Tell that bastard to go away, do you hear me, Dean." John told him as he looked at his visibly shaken son, in front of him.

Even though John already knew that it was no ghost or demon that they were talking about. Unless you counted Dean's very own demon's that had obviously came out to play. And let's just face the facts after everything that had happened in Dean's life he was entitled to a few demons.

"You've got to kill me then, because he's never gonna leave me alone...you have to kill me." Dean spoke quietly but straight to the point.

"No, damn it, Dean. No one is killing you! Do you understand me...no one." John said as he made sure that his son maintained eye contact with him.

"It has to be done, what if I snap? And I'm not talking throwing a chair kind of snap, Dad. I don't want this... I don't want to hurt you or Sammy." Dean cried with actual tears cascading down his face.

"Then you won't, we will get you help." Sam chimed in.

"Can't you two see it, I'm turning into him...there might not be any demon in me. Maybe I'm just turning into my father, it's in my gene's, and that's worse than any demon that I've ever faced. Please I don't care how, just kill me." Dean said with hicupping breathes.

"After Dad gets done killing you, I guess he better turn around and kill me. Because it's in my gene's too, Chris was my uncle after all." Sam said steadily.

"No you could never turn into a killer, you have John and Mary as your parents. Not Lucifer himself for a father and God only knows what kind of psycho my mother was." Dean said with what could almost count as a laugh.

"I am your father, Dean. And I would never allow you to turn into the monster that Chris was...you believe me right, son?" John questioned still making sure that he had Dean's attention.

"I-I would like to, b-but I don't really think that there is anything that anyone can do about it." Dean spoke reluctantly.

"I have this contact...he's a hunter like me, and I think that he can help you with this, son." John said quickly not telling Dean what the man's day job was.

"Please let us help you!" Sam begged his brother.

"I'm telling you the truth, Dean. And you know that there is only one way for this to end, and now you know that you are the only one who will do it." Chris' voice spoke once again, soft but not exactly mallice free.

"Okay." Dean agreed with a nod, the only thing he knew was that something had to be done.

TBC

Don't forget to review please. Thanks and have a lovely day/ night.


	10. Chapter 10 Second Guessing

An: I would like to thank everyone who reads this for your support.

Disclaimer: I still don't own them.

Chapter 10 Second guessing

"He's going to put you away, Dean. He doesn't even have the descency to put you out of your misery. You are going to be forced to live with me, for the rest of your life, all alone. Sure they'll visit all the time at first, but then the visits will dwindle away...until it's only you and me again." Chris' voice echoed in Dean's head as he sat on the bed.

"No they wouldn't leave me." Dean whispered with his head hung low.

"And what proof do you have of that? Is it because you know how your mother looked, when she decided to stay by your side? Oh, that's right, your mom was the first to leave you wasn't she." Chris said with a smile as he formed out of nowhere.

"Shut up." Dean yelled.

"You know what you have to do, Dean. If you ever want any kind of peace, it has to be done." Chris said as he sat down next to Dean on the bed.

"I-I don't know if I can." Dean whispered through his tears.

"Don't know if you can do what?" Sam asked as he entered the room.

"Uh- I don't know if I can... go see your Dad's contact. Sam I know the guys a shrink, and I know what shrinks do to head cases like me...they'll throw me into some padded room, Sammy." Dean said as he wiped his face to make sure no tears were present.

"You're not a head case, you're my brother and our Dad's son." Sam said as he sat the same place that Chris had sat just moments earlier.

"How can you say that I'm not a head case, Sammy. I see and talk to people who noone else can see, but they're here. Dean said as he tapped his index finger to his temple. I wish that I was your brother and your Dad's son, but I'm not and no matter how hard I try I will never be Dean Winchester...I will always be Dean Campbell." He told Sam defeatedly.

"Maybe that's it...maybe you just need to let go of the part of you that is Dean Campbell." Sam said as he patted his brother's shoulder and left the room.

"I can help you, Dean...I can get rid of all of this, and then you might actually have some peace." Chris spoke as soon as Sam was out of the room.

"And how do you think, that you could possibly help me?" Dean asked shakily.

"I can get rid of the pesky little Dean Campbell for you...so what'd you say, shall we begin?" Chris asked in a whisper.

TBC

Sorry for the short chapter I hope you all still found it entertaining.


	11. Chapter 11 Say Nothing

An: sorry it took me so long to update I hope you are all still interested. I am also thinking of making a community on here so let me know if any of you all would be interested in helping me. Thanks and please as usual feed my ego... I mean review. Oops did I type that out loud. Lol.

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to the show or characters.

Chapter 11 Say Nothing

"You have no idea, how long I have wanted to help you like this, Dean. I know I wasn't the best dad in the world, but maybe this will make up for some of those beatings that I gave you." Chris told him happily.

"Okay...so, what do we do?" Dean asked curiously.

"First of all, you'll need to lock the door." Chris said as he tilted his head toward the only entrance to Dean's bedroom.

"Okay." Dean said taking a deep breathe before doing what he was told.

"The next thing, that I need you to know is that for this to work out, is that you are going to have to be quiet, can you do that for me, son?" Chris said as he brought the knife out.

Dean couldn't find his voice, so he just nodded his head in acceptance, as he sat back down on the bed.

"Remember, I am doing this to help you, so let's be as quiet as we can." Chris said convincingly as he looked Dean in the eyes.

"I can do that...let's just get it over with." Dean answered with a quivering smile, as Chris brought knife down and drug it across against Dean's skin.

"Your brother has been quiet for a while." John spoke not really expecting to get an answer from Sam.

"Yeah, I know." Sam answered worriedly, not use to the quietness that lingered without Dean's rantings invisible forces, lately.

"Do you think that I should go check on him?" John asked as he tried to rub the tiredness away from his face.

"I don't know, I heard the springs give a while ago, so maybe he just decided to rest for a bit." Sam informed his father but sounded doubtful enough for John to decide to check on his oldest.

"That's it, Dean. Just lay there and say nothing. I am so glad that I could help you end your sorry excuse for a life...now I can have some real fun, with John and Sammy." Chris chuckeled evily.

"No." Dean cried as loud as he could, as his eyes threatened to close on him.

"Oh yes...and this is going to be worth the wait... I just know it. I think that I'll start with Sam and make John watch as I break his precious baby boy." Chris said as he brought the knife down once again to make each arm identical, just as the door was being smashed in.

The closer John got to Dean's door, the heavier the feeling in the pit of his stomach got. When he got to the door he tried the knob, and found the room locked. Without a moments hesitation he brought his foot down on the door, and watched as it splintered away on impact.

TBC

I'd just like to thank everyone again, for their prayers, my daughter's are both doing a lot better. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to review.


	12. Chapter 12 So Close

An: I would like to thank anyone who is still reading this. It means a lot to me.

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Chapter 12 So Close

John stood in wide eyed shock when he caught sight of what his son had done to himself.

Dean, oh my god...what have you done, son?" John asked as he quickly tore pieces of cloth and wrapped his son's wrists, in effort to slow down the blood that was running from the inverted crosses that his son had carved himself. "Sammy! Car! Now!" John ordered as picked Dean up from the bloody mattress.

He made his way down the stairs and out to the Impala on auto pilot and in mere seconds.

"Keep him awake Sam." John said as he put Dean in the back of the car with his shocked brother.

"Why did you do this, Dean?" Sam cried as he wrapped his own hands around his brother's wrists for extra pressure.

"Chris did it." Dean whispered after he heard his baby brother's cry.

"Chris isn't here, Dean." Sam argued even though he knew that it didn't matter if he didn't think the man was there or not, because Chris was as real to Dean as Sam was at this point.

"He is." Dean spoke simply

"Damn it!" John yelled from the front of the Impala as he realized that this was never about something supernatural. This was about something that could and should have been stopped, if he'd only been a little quicker on the uptake, of the possiblility that this could've just been his son's mind playing horrible tricks on him.

He quickly pulled out his phone and called his contact to tell him about the recent event that had taken place.

"Thomas, we'll be at the clinic in about three minutes." He stated with concern for his son in his voice.

"John, I thought that our appointment was for later? What's going on?" The psychiatrist asked after hearing the concern in his friend's voice.

"My son...he slit his wrists." John said choking the words out as his stomach twisted into knots.

"This changes things John, Dean's going to need medical attention before I can do anything...hold on, I have a friend in the medical building next door. Maybe he could lend us a hand." Dr. Thomas Parks said and immeditately hung the phone up and making arrangents with the other doctor as quickly as he could.

Between his father's worried glances and Dean's confused words, Sam couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to shake his brother and kick his ass at the same time for what he had done to himself, but all that he could manage to do is cry.

"Shh...Sammy, it'll be okay, you'll see." Dean whispered trying to comfort his little brother.

"How can you say that, Dean! It's not okay to do this to yourself!" Sam yelled causing his brother to flinch.

"I didn't do it...Chris did. He says that I'm a demon, and that I would hurt you, Sammy. Someone had to stop me before I did." Dean explained sincerely. "I'm a demon and demon's have to die and go back to hell where they belong." Dean added as the car came to stop in the parking lot of a medical facility.

Quicker than Sam was prepared for a man yanked dean from his arms.

"My name is Jeramy Keener, I'm a doctor." The man said not stopping his actions, nodding toward the family of the young man he held in his strong arms, as he hurried into the building.

"Jeramy is going to see what he can do for your boy, John. We'll probably have him stay here tonight, and then in the morning barring that everything goes well, I'll talk to him and see what can be done on my end." Thomas spoke trying to calm father and son down.

"So you think that he'll be okay?" John asked as he looked his friend in the eyes.

"I'm not positive on anything, John. And I'm not a medical doctor, but since he was alert when he was brought in and you were staying so close, then it's a good chance that he'll have a full recovery." The psychiatrist said as he patted John on the back and disappeared back into the building.

TBC

Thank you for reading and please please ( yes I'm begging) review.


	13. Chapter 13 The Diagnosis

An: just wanted to say I'm baaack. So what did you all think about the 200th episode.

Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural.

Chapter 13 The Diagnosis

"How are you doing this morning, Dean?" Dr. Thomas Parks asked as he entered the room, and slid a chair so that he would be seated directly in front of his young patient.

"I'm fine, sir." Dean answered keeping his eyes on the floor.

"My name is Dr. Thomas Parks, your father wants me to talk to you..." The doctor began but was stopped by his patient.

"My dad." Dean corrected firmly." A father and a dad aren't the same thing." Dean added with his eyes never leaving the same spot he had been staring at.

"Oh, I see. Well thank you Dean for correcting my error." Thomas said with a small nod as he jotted that down in his file.

"Well, your dad thinks that I can help you Dean. Do you care to tell me the difference between a father and a Dad?" Dr. Parks asked thinking that this was as good a place to start as any.

"A father is someone who gives his DNA, he is forced by law to take care of you. A Dad is a person who has chosen to take care of you whether they share the same DNA as you or not. A dad sticks by you, no matter how many times you mess up." Dean answered quietly.

"That's very true, and you are very wise for your age." Thomas informed his young patient with a small smile on his face.

"Thank you, sir." Dean answered. The doctor has seen the look on Dean's face enough to know that he didn't truly believe it himself.

"You have a younger brother as well, right?" Dr. Park asked and watched the boy's eyes light up the instant that he mentioned his brother. Do the two of get along well? He added with a grin.

"Yes sir, his name is Sammy...he's a good kid and he's so smart that it's un-freaking-believable." Dean answered with a chuckle and sounding more at ease.

"So your family makes you happy?" The doctor asked curiously.

"Yeah, they are the only good thing that I have ever had in my life." Dean answered truthfully.

"Do you consider yourself a happy person in general, Dean?" Thomas asked evenly.

"I think I'm about as happy as anyone can be." Dean answered with a smirk, as he watched the doctor add more notes to his file.

When you corrected me earlier, on the differences on a father and a dad...it sounded like you were speaking from experience. The doctor spoke gentley not wanting to ruin what little progress that he had made with his patient.

Yeah, I guess you could say that, John's not my father...he's my dad. My father's name is Chris. Dean informed the doctor.

"Oh yes...I see that in my file here. It says that you were adopted your father died." The doctor of course had already known this before hand, but needed to hear his patient say it out loud. "Is there any reason that you told me that your father's name_** Is**_ **C**hris?" The doctor asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah doc, there is a reason I told you that...it would be because that's his name." Dean answered flippantly.

The doctor had seen this many times, and knew that his patient was getting angry, but he needed more information before he could make the correct diagnosis. So he kept going.

"Dean, how many people are in this room right now?" Thomas asked bluntly.

Dean started to clam up, but he also really needed to see Sammy and tell him that he was sorry for the kid being scared out of his wits. He let his eyes rome around the room, before answering the question.

"Three." He answered truthfully.

"So, is that five all together or just three in all?" The doctor asked.

"I tell ya what doc, why don't you count and then we'll discuss the numbers?" Dean asked with a smirk as his defiant streak came back.

"I already have, Dean. I'm not trying to make you mad, but in order to help you, I have to ask certain questions." The dark haired man informed him defensively.

"It's just the three of us here." Dean relented in an even voice." Me, you and Chris." Dean added before the doctor could ask. "I know that I'm crazy doc, I also know that both Chris and Mary are dead...and that I'm not suppose to be able to see them, but I do...he's the one who gave me these." Dean said answering a couple of questions that the doctor was going to ask.

"Have Chris or Mary ever spoken to you, Dean?" He asked leaning forward, and clearing his throat.

"Yes...I try to cover my ears but it doesn't help...they're always there." Dean said with his voice trembling.

"Thank you, Dean. I know this was really hard for you, but you've done really well." The psychiatrist said as he patted him on the shoulder.

"I just want to get back to Sammy and Dad." Dean retorted flatly.

"Dean, have you ever heard of schizophrenia?" The doctor asked.

"Just enough to know that it means that I'm crazy." Dean spoke truthfully.

"I don't think that this illness means that you're crazy. People who are crazy have no idea that they are...it is an illness, it can be helped by certain medications." He tried to reassure his young patient.

"Please don't lock me up. I need to be with my family". Dean plead with his eyes filling with tears.

TBC

I know that at least one of you guessed this right. While I do not suffer from schizophrenia, my grandmother had it and it was rough for me...she literally thought that I was an avenging angel, that when I was around no one would mess with her. I guess she thought I'd kick their ass and I would have. God I loved her...she wasn't crazy just ill.


	14. Chapter 14 Treatment

An: hello there people I would like to thank everyone who reviewed me. I have been trying to read y'all's fics too. I love hearing from you all I got 23 reviews.

Disclaimer: at the top of the list of things that I don't own would be, supernatural.

Chapter 14

Dr. Parks dispised this part of his job. Having to walk out on your patient when they weilded a plea, so strong that it treatened to make you forget why they were here. Nevertheless he found himself walking out of the doors, without giving a definitive answer.

John and Sam had left the night before to get some sleep but niether got much sleep at all, but now had found their way back to exact same location that they had left. John didn't like the look on his friend's face as he walked up to him and Sam that morning.

"Good morning," John. Thomas said with a failed attempt of a smile.

"That bad?" John asked with concern that could reach across the ocean if he'd let it.

"I don't think of it as bad really. But you have a big decission to make." Dr, Parks said letting out a sigh.

"What do you mean?" John asked sounding confused.

"John, I've diagnosed Dean with schizophrenia, usually I would ask you to let me keep your child here, for a short period of time. So that we could keep an eye on him and make adjustment to medication if needed. This also gives the medicine time to work and let's us watch for side effects...but of course like I said that decission is yours." Thomas told John swollowing hard.

"Schizophrenia, are you sure that it's not something else, Thomas?" John questioned trying not to let the tears that he had held in his eyes since the day before, fall.

"Well, since I'm positive that you had already checked him for EMF, and I felt no cold spots in the room when he told me that Chris was there with us, I'm pretty sure I made an accurate diagnosis." Thomas told his friend sadly.

"What's the treatment for schizophrenia?" Sam asked after taking a deep breath.

"Sam they are different pills, for this illness and our priority is to find the right one for your brother. I would also like to see him in some kind of therapy." The doctor said with a pleased smile, that Sam was getting involved with his brother's treatment.

"So, that's why you want Dean to stay here, so that you can monitor him and get him into therapy?" The boy asked looking to his father for answers.

"And you want me to decide whether my son, has to stay here?" John asked letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Yes, but there is no need to rush into any decissions. Do you have any questions?" The doctor aked.

"First of all how could you even think, that I could commit my son? Secondly how would me leaving him here be any benefit to him?" John asked hearing what his friend was telling Sam, but wanting...no needing his oldest son at home with him.

"Look John, I know all of this can be frightening, but the pills aren't magic. Dean isn't going to take one pill and suddenly be better. I'm not saying that you should sign papers and leave him here for the rest of his life. However I do feel that it would be best for him to stay for a few weeks, to give the medicine time to work. And while he's here we would be able to monitor him for side effects." Thomas explained but the fact that he was talking about a friend's son didn't make it any easier.

"So...what you are saying is that you don't think that Sam and I can handle looking after Dean?" John asked clearly offended by his friend's insinuation.

"That's not what I'm saying at all, it's just that there is a chance of reactions to this medication that include seizures, bleeding, bruising and anxiety." He informed John.

"You know that I was a medic in the marines..**."** John began but was then bombarded by thoughts of Dean and Sam being alone while he was out on a hunt, and any of those side effects happening.

"Just think it over, I won't judge you either way. I just need you to be prepared if you do take him home with you." Thomas said as he put a reassuring hand on his friend's arm.

**Two hours later**

"You said it would only be two weeks, right?" John asked Thomas with a sad tone.

"Yeah and after that you can take him home, and give him the medicine yourself." The doctor said with a nod.

"Dad, we can't leave him!" Sam yelled not able to believe that his dad was going to even consider this.

"You heard the doctor Sammy, it'll be better for your brother this way." John said already set his mind to this.

"Easier for **you**...you mean! This way you can go hunting and not worry about leaving me and Dean alone!" Sam yelled angrily.

"Listen Sammy." John said trying to comfort his youngest.

"No! Don't call me that...Dean is going to hate you for this. You just wait and see he'll hate you!" Sam yelled at his dad, with tears running down his face.

TBC

I'd like to say thanks to all who has reviewed this story...please keep it up. Well let me know what you think and give suggestions if you want. Have a wonderful Sunday.


	15. Chapter 15 Just You and Me

An: thanks again for the reviews, I appreciate all of you. Today has been a good day so far. It's only like 19 degrees here, and I had to send my kids to catch the bus...and my big brother swooped in and let them wait in his warm truck...My big brother is sweet sometimes.

Disclaimer: don't own 'em.

Chapter 15 Just You and Me

"Where's my family?" Dean asked the second day of having no contact with them.

"They're fine Dean, your dad is just letting Sammy rest." Dr. Parks told him truthfully.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt Sammy, is that why dad won't let me see him?" Dean asked as his eyes widened from fear.

"Do you think that you hurt your brother?" The doctor questioned keeping his emotions even.

"No, I don't think I did...but then again I am the crazy one, so..**." **Dean answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

"See what'd I tell you boy, once they found out you were batshits, that dumped your ass." Chris' voice chimed in.

The doctor seen his patient flinch out of nowhere. Like someone had just yelled in his ear.

"Dean, is there anyone else in the room with us?" The doctor asked with concern.

"No...it's just you and me, doc." Dean lied.

"Dean, I would like to start on your medication, today. Would that be alright with you?" The doctor asked, always liking to have his patient's permission before he gave them any treatment.

"Like you have any say so in the matter. If you say no they will just pump you full of the stuff anyway." Chris said with a laugh.

"Dean? You can tell me what's going on, I only want to help you." Thomas tried to convince his patient.

"That's right, Dean...the good doctor only wants to help you...into a straight jacket and padded room." Chris said, now right up in his face, where Dean couldn't help but gasp.

"Will it get rid of him?" Dean asked in a shaky voice.

"I think it will, is he with us right now?" The doctor asked trying to get a picture of what the boy was up agianst.

"You can't get rid of me, it's always gonna be you and me Dean. Especially since Daddy and little Sammy just left you. They didn't even tell you goodbye did they." Chris taunted.

"Can I see Sammy first?" He asked without answering the doctor's question.

"I'm sorry, Dean. Sam is in school right now, but I could see if John will bring him to see you later." Thomas answered with a sigh.

"The doctor was lying to you while ago, when he said that you didn't hurt Sammy. You more than hurt Sammy... you killed him." Chris taunted again, but this time Dean saw himself go after Sam with a knife and Sam's limp body spewing blood.

"No! I didn't do it... I would never hurt him." Dean couldn't help but spit out.

"Calm down, Dean. I don't know what he is telling you but it's all a lie. Okay, Sam is fine...you dad is fine. Okay, I wouldn't lie to you." Thomas said calmly as he forced his young patient to look at him.

"A-are you sure? I-I seen it." Dean asked with tears running down his face.

"It's the illness Dean, it's making you believe things that aren't true." The doctor explained, as he handed Dean the low dose pill that he wanted to start him out on, hoping that it would be all that he needed.

2 hours later

Dr. Parks was pleased the first few times that he had checked on his patient after taking the first dose of thorazine. He saw no problem having John and Sam coming for a visit.

"Hey, Dean. You doing okay champ?" John asked as he looked at his oldest, realizing that something just wasn't right.

"Mmm." Was his son's only reply, his eyes glossy and looking somewhat stoned.

"What's wrong with him?" Sam asked in a whisper to his father.

"I don't know, maybe it's part of the adjustment." John said giving Sam an encouraging push to talk to his brother.

"You know that test that I've been studying for? Well I made an A on it." Sam said not use to seeing his brother so still.

Dean just nodded and sluggishly put his hand on Sam's face, as if to make sure he was real.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked as he put his hand over his brother's.

"Mmm." Again was the only reply.

Sam and John sat there waiting for Dean to strike up a conversation for two hours. But in return all they got was Dean staring with a blank look on his face and absolutley no reply when asked any questions.

"I think it's time for us to head home, for the night. Your brother has school in the morning, and you know how crouchy he gets when he doesn't get to do his homework." John joked as he ran his fingers through his oldest's hair.

"Good night, Dean." Sam said as he rolled his eyes at his father's joke.

"Maybe we should talk to the doctor about how Dean was acting." Sam said as they walked down the quiet hallway.

"I'm sure he'll keep a good eye on him, Sam. If he isn't any better on our next visit, then I'll talk to Thomas about it." John told Sam, even though to him this all felt wrong.

Well tell me what you think about this chapter. I'm really not sure where it's headed yet. I have a lot of ideas and I can't fit them all into this story. Please review.


	16. Chapter 16 Inside my Mind

An: I'd like to thank all of you out there still reading, and thanks for the reviews guys they mean a lot and inspire me to do more. I'd would also like to say that I have no idea whether this kind of reaction could happen.

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

Chapter 16 Inside my Mind

Dean could hear his dad and brother talking to him, and he really wanted to answer them. He couldn't though it was like whatever had a hold of him wouldn't, even allow him aknowledge their presence.

"Dean how are you, feeling?" Dr. Parks asked from the doorway, the next morning.

The doctor's eyebrows arched in confusion as he watched his patient remain both motion and emotionless.

"Dean, can you say something for me?" The doctor asked as he checked Dean's pulse for reassurance that he was still alive.

The doctor moved the young man's head so that he was facing him. Dr. Parks' had never seen this kind of reaction to the meds, but thought that maybe it was just going to take some time. His mind screamed at him however when all that he saw staring back at him was empty green eyes.

John had wanted to go to the clinic where his oldest son had been held for the last couple of days, but the doctor had said that he believed that too much contact with his family would hinder, Dean's progress. However, John and Sam knew that Dean's worst fear would be being abandoned and left there alone.

"Come on, Dad. You know what it will do to Dean, if we aren't there for him, I read up on Schitzophenia last night, it says that people suffering from this will begin to believe certain things are reality. Now can you imagine what kind of reality this sickness will cause if we aren't there?" Sam argued for the fifteenth time that day, since returning home from school.

"Thomas says that us being there won't help, Sam! He's the one with the medical degree, and he knows what he's talking about." John spoke even though he wanted to go into that clinic and set up camp for him and Sam.

"Screw what Thomas says...Dean's our family and we do not leave each other. Who knows Dean better, dad? Him or us." Sam said as he stood defiantly against his own father.

"I agree Sam, but we have to listen to Thomas. I want my son back Sam, and if the only way to do that is to stay away from him then so be it." John stated trying to make Sam understand that he wasn't trying to be heartless, he was trying to do what was best.

"That's easy enough for you isn't it Dad, just stay away...just like always. But I can't do that, Dean is my brother but he's also more than that to me...Dad. He's my best friend and my anchor, and has it ever occurred to you that maybe we are his anchor too. I know that you weren't a Navy man, but I think even you know what happens to boats without an anchor." Sam begged for his father to understand.

"Okay, I mean I couldn't see how us being there could hurt anything anyway." John said with a sigh as he finally relented to Sam's emotions.

15 minutes later...

Sam and his dad walked into the room that held 1/3 of their family, to see the doctor talking to Dean in a soft soothing tone.

Thomas, Sammy and I would like to visit with Dean for a few minutes. John informed his friend who nervously turned to face the Winchester.

"John I thought I told you that you all would need to stay away for a few days and let the medication work." The doctor said with a bit of nervousness, that John hadn't even seen in his friends face, not even in middle of the war.

"Thomas, is this how the medicine is supposed to work, because if it is I would rather have my son back. I thought you said that it would be better today." John said as he wiped the saliva from his now catatonic son's face.

"It is he just needs more time to adjust." The doctor answered, hoping that he was speaking the truth because the last thing he wanted or needed was to lose the friendship of John Winchester.

"Hey Dean, are you going to talk to me, big brother?" Sammy asked trying to not show how scared that he was for his brother.

"Mmy." Dean said as he tried to force his hand to move.

"Yeah I hear you big brother...Dad and I are here." Sam said taking what Dean just said as his name.

Dean heard Sammy talking to him, and had to let his brother know that what he felt wasn't right. But all he seemed to be able to do is mumble. So to Dean that just meant to fight harder.

"Saammy." Dean slurred in a whisper.

"You're doing great, Dean." Sam answered as he rubbed his brothers arm.

"Feeel...wrrong, ammy." Those few partial words seemed to drain him of all his energy, forcing his eyes to close.

"Dad...did you hear him, somethings wrong." Sam told his father in panic.

John turned to his sons' with a smile on his face at the sound of his oldest son speaking and watched in terror as Dean's body began to be overraught with tremors.

"Get him out of here." Thomas yelled to John as he ran over to his patient and began to assess his condition.

"Come on Sammy." John said as he wrapped his arms around his son.

It was another half an hour before Thomas made his way back to the family.

"What in the Hell was that, Thomas?" John asked his face red with anger. "I brought him here to get his mental health back to where it is supposed to be, not put his phsyical health at steak."

"We got to move him to the hospital, John. I don't know what's going on...but this is not normal." The doctor said with his hands up in surrender.

"So, what you want me to give permission for you to committ him? I brought him here because you said you would help him. I won't committ my son!" John yelled.

"It's the only way to help him, John." The doctor said in a sincere way.

"Like you're helping him now? Do you know what you are asking me to do, Thomas?" John asked with a sadness in his voice.

"I'm asking for you to let me help your son." The doctor said with a pleading tone.

"And you're sure this will help? Because if I do this and my son doesn't get better...god help me I will make you wish that you were dead, Thomas". John informed his long time friend, who seemed unphased by John's threat.

"I promise I will do my best for your son." Thomas answered as he walked away already making arrangements to move the middle Winchester to a better facility.

An: sorry for any mistakes, but I still hope that you enjoy this. Please review and let me know your thoughts.


	17. Chapter 17 Takes One to Know One

An: It's me again thank you to all of you that have read and reviewed...and happy late thanksgiving. Let me apologize for any misspellings.

Disclaimer: wish I did own the show but I don't.

Chapter 17 Takes One to Know One

Dean woke up with the mother of all headaches, although his head seemed clearer than it had in, hell he didn't even know how long he'd been out. He looked around and noted that this place was different than the one he remembered in the clinic. He was brought out of his thoughts by the door opening and closing.

"How are you doing, today?" A woman's voice asked as she checked his vitals.

"Where am I?" Dean asked curiously.

"This is clover valley, mental institute." The nurse whose name tage read Natalie said happily.

"That can't be right, I'm not supposed to be here. My dad said he'd never..." Dean said as the realization hit him, his father and even Sam had lied to him.

"You had a reaction to the medicine that Dr. Parks gave you, so he had you sent here to further monitor you. To make sure that you had no permenant damaged caused from that reaction." The nurse explained when she sensed Dean's fear.

"Where's my Dad and Sammy?" Dean asked shakily.

"They have been calling every day,to check on you...they will be pleased to hear that you have waken up." Natalie, said smiling as she left the room.

"See, I told you." Chris voice was now a whisper, but not quiet enough for Dean not to hear it. "I told you that they would dump you in the first mental hospital they found. But hey at least they have came to see you, since you've been here...oh yeah that's right, they haven't have they."

"Shut up." Dean yelled wishing that he was lost in his own mind again, because at least then he hadn't heard anyone let alone Chris.

"I thought that you didn't want to be locked in here by yourself?" Chris asked his voice still a whisper in the back of Dean's mind.

"Please just leave me alone." Dean asked over and over.

"Hey Dean, are you okay?" Natalie's soft voice asked as she entered the room.

"Yeah...I'm fine." Dean answered not wanting to let this woman see his weakness.

"Are you sure, sweetie?" She asked as she slowly moving toward him.

"I w-want to see m-my dad." Dean stated in a panic.

"I'm right here kiddo." Chris' laughed.

"You're Dad told me to tell you that he would be here soon, but he has a case right now." She told him sweetly.

Dean just nodded because he was sure that at that moment with as alone as he felt anything that came out in his mouth would be a sob.

"Is the little baby going to cry, it's a good thing that Mary isn't here she would be so disappointed with what a weakling that you turned out to be." Chris whispered.

"Dean honey, would you like to go out into the rec room. We have a television, books, board games and several different kinds of cards?" She asked hoping that he would go out and maybe mingle with some of the other patients'.

"Do I have too?" Dean answered feeling uncertain. What if Chris' voice got louder and he acted all weird in front of these people. Dean thought to himself.

"No, of course we won't force you to do anything, but I think that it might be good for you. They're others out there Dean, and they have sat right were you are." Natalie explained as she gave his shoulder a squeeze of encouragement.

"What if..." Dean began to ask the question in his thought, but didn't have to finish the sentence because Natalie seemed to know exactly what he was thinking.

"They won't judge you Dean. Trust me, everyone has there problems." She said with a smile as she saw the teen begin to be swayed.

"O-okay, I can just go out for a little bit." John answered still aprehensive.

Dean sat in a chair, trying to blend into his surroundings just like he had in school.

"Hey my name is Ryanna. You're new to the ward aren't ya?" The girl maybe a couple years older than him asked, seeming to examine him.

Dean just nodded feeling much more vulnerable then he would ever admit.

"You gotta name kid?" She asked with a grin.

"Yeah, doesn't everyone?" He asked snarkily.

"So, is it top secret or something?" She asked showing Dean that she too was fluent in sarcasm.

"Dean...my names, Dean." He answered swallowing hard.

"Dean's got a girlfriend." Chris said in a sing song voice.

Ryanna watched Dean flinch at the sound that she had known way to much about.

"You know that they can't really hurt you, right?" Ryanna told him sympathetically.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Dean lied trying his best to sound normal.

"You maybe able to lie to people, and maybe even pull off lying yourself...but I know that flinch when I see it, Dean." Ryanna explained. "So who is it, is it someone real like Donald Trump or is it a Marvin the martian kind of deal?" She continued curiously.

"Sounds like you aren't really pulling this one off Dean my boy. I think she may be on to you." Chris voice was still quiet but nontheless irritating.

"None of your business that's who it is." Dean said with a straight face.

"Whoa someone got up on the wrong side of the bed." She laughed at he new aquaintance.

"No someone just doesn't like people pretending to know all about them." Dean said in a raised voice.

"Someone close then, maybe a realitive." She analyzed.

Dean once again gave this girl who acted like she knew every little detail about his life, the silent treatment.

"You know what gave it away?" She asked with a laugh. "It's because of how defensive you became." She informed him.

"You don't know anything, girlie." Dean informed the girl unable to look her in the eyes.

"Look, Dean I am only trying to help you. The reason I am hitting close to home is because it takes one to know one. Ryanna Anderson schitzophrenic teen, who used to be just like you." The girl said as she stuck her hand out, and waited for Dean to shake it.

TBC

Here's another Chapter...be sure to let me know what you think. Please review.


	18. Chapter 18 Trembling Walls

An: been trying to get this one done, but I think it may have a few more chapters left.

Disclaimer: see all other chapters and stories.

Chapter 18 Trembling Walls

It had been five days, sense Dean had awakened in this new place Clover Valley. Five days since he met a insanely funny ( no pun intended, okay maybe a little bit) and beautiful new friend Ryanna. And even longer since his last known visit from either Sam or his Dad. He went to his group therapy every day and listened to story upon story from the others in this place. Most he deduced could quiet possibly hauntings or things that they had seen...things only hunters knew about.

Ryanna though was like Dean he supposed, she could hear and see angels'. And the third time in the rec room he was introduced to her angel, "Castiel."

"Castiel says that he will protect you Dean." She informed him with a smile.

"Can I ask you a question?" Dean asked after his friend's comment.

"Yeah, sure." Ryanna asked as her electric blue eyes starred back at him.

"How come you get someone who wants to protect you, to talk to you. And all I get is my father who wants me dead." Dean asked sounding embarrassed.

"I don't know, I don't even know why Castiel talks to me...they say that sometimes our voices stem from childhood trauma's. But I don't think I had one of those, and I remember talking to Castiel from the time I was old enough to talk." She answered wishing that she had more to tell her new friend.

"Hmm...maybe you just blocked out the traumatic stuff, you know like to keep yourself from knowing." Dean told her after listening to his friend.

"You're sounding like the quacks that run this place." She joked with Dean.

"Well, traumatic experiences is one thing I know about, and another is..." Dean began but his mouth began not to work any longer, as the walls of the rec room seemed to tremble.

"Nurse!" Dean heard Ryanna yell, sounding as if his head had been ducked under water, before the room turned black.

For the next few days whenever he opened his eyes all he would see were the trembling walls of the county hospital. The doctor talked about lowering meds and changing meds, but so far none of that had stopped the walls from shaking.

"Dean?" He heard his name being called and got hopeful that maybe today would be the day that Sam or his dad would show up.

"Mmm." Was all he was seeming to get out any more, he attempted to move his mouth the way he always had, but his brain failed to co operate with him.

"I am going to be cleaning you up, okay... my name is Celest and I am your nurse." She explained as she dragged the warm cloth along his face.

"Mmm..." Dean tried again, and failed at his attempt once more.

"I think I heard someone say that you were going to have some visitors today. That will be nice won't it?" She asked sincerely.

It was then Dean had to wonder if any of this was truly real, one minute he was waking up in the mental hospital and the next, in an over disinfected hospital. He had just been talking to a girl named Ryanna but yet here he lay unable to speak his own thoughts or wipe his own drool from his face.

HF*****HF*****HF*****HF

John and Sam Winchester had just gotten back from the hunt and had received a call from Clover Valley, saying that Dean had been transferred to the county hospital after having a siezure. It was no time before the two of them were marching down the hallway in search for Dean's room.

"Where the hell is my son?" John growled as soon as the nurses desk came within sight.

"This is a hospital, sir, filled with sick individual's. So I am only going tell you once sir, calm down!" The head nurse told him sounding like one of his drill sergents in the marines.

"Please ma'am my dad's just worried about my brother...Dean Winchester." Sam informed the nurse, with what Dean had called the puppy dog eyes.

"I see, well, then he can consider this his warning. Dean Winchester is in room 203." The bulldog of a nurse informed Sam but the statement was directed at his father.

"Thank you, ma'am. I'll make sure that he is on his best behavior." Sam nodded to the nurse and continued on his way to his brother's room.

"You have to stay calm, Dad...I think that nurse was serious when she said that that was your only warning." Sam said as they stood outside of Dean's hospital room.

"Yeah...I heard her." John said flatly.

When John and Sam entered the room, they were once again confronted with an almost lifeless Dean.

Hey big brother, can you hear me? Sam asked shakily.

The only response that he received from his brother, was Dean sluggishly moving his head to find the voice that was talking to him.

"You are going to be fine, Dean, Dad and I are going to make sure of it. Sam answered while looking at the shocked face of his father." Who was obviously too shocked to even speak.

_Something isn't right Sam. I need you to see that. Please little brother put your gigantor brain to use, and figure this out for me. I don't want to be here... and I need to be here. _Dean thought still trying to get his body and brain to work with him.

"Your brother's right Dean, we are going to figure this out and get you home." John said as he came back to himself.

"Good morning, Dean." Thomas' cheery voice said as he entered the room, not even looking up from his files to notice the two other Winchester's.

"What in the hell did you do to my son!" John said in an eerily calm voice as he pressed his friend up agianst the wall.

"John!" The doctor said shocked to see his old friend.

"Is this how you help your patients? Because from where I'm standing it looks like this is worse, Thomas." John's voice was still calm, unlike the fire that lit his eyes as he spoke.

"I told you about the side effects, John. This wasn't my fault." Thomas said putting as much certainty behind his words.

"Oh, so you weren't the one who stuck the needle in my kid's arm... because I'm pretty sure that you were. One time Thomas. He has seizure one time, that's enough to take him off of that medicine. Why did you wait for him to have more?" John asked trying to understand the doctor's methods.

"I didn't wait John, and I was going to call you...this has happened with every medicine that I gave him. I don't know what to say, John. I'm starting to think that it's something else." Thomas said looking to John.

_Thanks doc, now please just let me go. _Dean thought and would have had a smile on his face, if he hadn't already known that he wasn't getting out of this place until they knew for sure.

That is when the walls that Dean was looking at began to tremble again.

An: sorry for this chapter taking so long. I'm having writer's block in the worst way, so if you have suggestions I'm here to take em.


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